Tonight I watched The Tourist. I’m not a big fan of Angelina Jolie but I love Johnny Depp so I was pretty much “meh” about going to see it. But my mother’s wanted to see the movie for the last three weeks and I was admittedly intrigued, despite the deadpan critique the movie’s received since being released. So off we went with Daddy in tow.
He fell asleep within 30 minutes of the movie. Per usual. (He’s only stayed awake in a handful of movies in the past two decades, the most prominent of which was Selena)
An hour and a half later, I gotta say, I expected a lot more with the kind of names they had on the budget. But it was a disappointment, faulted largely on the script itself and not on the actors’ delivery.
But that isn’t the point of today’s topic.
One of the recurring themes of the movie was based around the Roman god, Janus, who is classically recognized and pictured as a two-headed god for whom January is aptly named for; with one head looking to the past, the other gazing to the future. In addition, he represents the duality one finds in just about every aspect and culture in the world. Yin and yang, black and white, light and dark, etc.
In the movie, Jolie’s character says something pretty astute about Janus and his representation of human beings and their relationships to each other. In every human being, there lie several components that represent that very duality that Janus embodies. Loving someone, Jolie’s character asserts, takes accepting their good with their bad; acknowledging their past while hoping that their future includes you.
It’s accepting the Janus in them; all their faces, no matter who/what/where/when they’re looking at.
As I always do, I thought of the Monster I can’t forget; a horrible being, who has imprinted himself into the dark places of my mind that I have to make a concentrated effort in avoiding. I wondered about him, wondered if someone has found a way to love the Janus in him, whatever was on the other side of the face I met. It’s an admittedly daunting idea. Just thinking about the Monster makes me want to curl into a ball, wail uncontrollably, and hop onto a treadmill for 2 hours on a 13 degree incline until I can’t go on anymore. I know it sounds rather overdramatic, but about it was a pretty horrible…experience (for a lack of a better word).
And yet, by that law of duality, this Monster can and likely will find someone who will love him anyway.
Is the other side of his coin as correspondingly wonderful and kind as he was horrible to me? The thought would frighten me, but then I’m reminded of myself and what I’m capable of.
I don’t think I’m better or worse than most people. I’m human. I have people I love, people I’d die for, and causes I’d uphold until the world ends. I can be scathing and terrifying if you ever cross me, and some close companions have pointed out my “ability” to demean a person to feel like the shit even dung beetles wouldn’t piss on. I value human life, even when every bone in my body tells me they don’t deserve it. I have never wished for anyone’s death because I think it’s cruel and inhumane…
…except for the Monster, and only because there’s a part of me that genuinely believes he’s a demon who deserves to burn in Hell.
I realized tonight that, while I may not do as extent a damage that was done unto me, I am easily someone else’s Monster. In retrospect, if your greatest terror is an Asian midget, you have serious issues, but I digress.
Perhaps in every person, there lays a Monster, the dark, frightening part of them that we can’t and won’t ever find in our hearts or souls to accept. Likewise, within 180 degrees, there’s bound to be a, well, an Angel, the face of the coin that makes you love them and love them and love them, and keep loving them long after they’ve walked away from you, long after the last time they’ve said, “I love you too.”
Just a thought or two, inspired from a rather “blah” movie to boot.
