Day 197 R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I find it annoying when taken guys talk to me. I'm not talking about guys in established relationships, but rather the guys in that right-before-they-make-it-official stage. And I'm not talking about just "talking" in the sense that I make a comment on the weather and then he talks about how he never realized there was a piece of lint on his shoulder. I'm talking about the flirting-kind of talk, where we're both acutely aware that we're attracted to each other and subtly acting on that attraction with thinly-veiled innuendos and double-entendres.

Regardless of the attraction, it's pretty pointless because I know it's not going anywhere and he knows it's not going anywhere, and his almost-wifey doesn't know a damn thing and it's...kinda unfair. Not to say it's cheating because, I reiterate: you can't cheat on someone you're not in a relationship with, but it's pretty damn close.

It's lying. To yourself, to your flirting partner, and to your almost-but-clearly-not-quite-significant other. Even if you all know that it's not a big deal, and if you tell yourselves that it's not a big deal, if it really wasn't a big deal, why would you need to cover it up anyway?

I've done this before. So have my exes. Most of it was innocent, nonphysical flirtation that never led to anything. But looking back, it kinda makes my skin crawl a little. Why? Because I feel like I did something wrong. And it's never because my exes or significant others said I did something wrong...but because I inherenty understood that what I'd done was "wrong" in my partners' eyes because I knew them well enough to understand that, no matter what they would've said to my face, they sure as hell didn't approve.


I guess what I'm saying is, it makes sense to avoid dangling temptation in front of yourself. It's being honest to yourself by acknowledging that you can be attracted to other people and honoring your whatever-ship to someone who's clearly more than "just a friend" in your life.


Just a random thought that started crossing my mind at 1:42 am today...