As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a friendly person. And not only do I like making friends, I think they’re important to hold on to, especially ones who’ve been in your life for years. It’s always seemed like a shame to me when people who’ve gone through so much just decide to…stop being friends (something I didn’t even realize you could do until I hit 8th grade).
But I’m sure everyone has their reasons.
Every New Year’s Eve, my pseudo/cult family comes together to ring in the new year. This has been tradition since as far back as I can remember and it’s always something we collectively look towards with great anticipation and joy. This year, however, is likely going to suck.
See, some of my “brothers” are in a bit of a squabble. One of them, Kai* is in a bit of a bitch fit. After several attempts to ask him why he’s so upset at men he once considered his real brothers, all I was reall able to extract was,
“They insulted me. They don’t appreciate what I do for them. They know what they’ve done wrong.”
Aside from sounding a bit like an overworked housewife on her period, that last part of the argument managed to annoy me.
Me: So…they know they’ve done you wrong?
Kai: Yeah. They know. It’s been happening over time.
Me. Ok……::stare:: So…you’ve talked to them about it…?
Kai: No. I don’t have to. They know.
Me: ::stare:: So, you haven’t had an actual conversation with them, but they just know that they’ve hurt you somehow?
Kai: …::squirming:: Well, yeah.
Me: …Because you’re all part of a collective consciousness, yeah? Because they can read your mind and automatically know they’ve done something wrong?
Kai: Nah, they just know what’s wrong…
Me: ::stare turns into glare::
At that point in the conversation, I basically started tuning out because all I was getting was ,
“They know they’ve done be wrong but I won’t have a conversation with them about it because I’d rather ‘be a man’ and lose old friends rather than attempt communication like a mature adult.”
…
Yeah. That’s dumb.
While I get that Kai has every right to feel hurt or upset over our friends’ actions (whatever this undisclosed discretions are), I don’t think his argument has any validity. The basis of his anger lies not in some much that our friends did something wrong, but rather they did something wrong and don’t care.
See, sometimes people (usually those with two heads and only enough blood to make sure one them of them functions) are a bit oblivious. We do things we don’t realize can have a negative impression on the people around us. Example: I feel it’s very rude when people come into my home and don’t greet either me or my parents (if they’re present). Based on how I’ve grown up, I think it’s very disrespectful, and I make it a point to tell everyone who comes into my home that it’s considered polite to introduce yourself to the owners.
See? That’s how normal communication goes: you have a belief, you tell people about it and ask them to respect it.
And the most amazing part in all this? I don’t do this because “I’m a girl,” but because it’s considered normal social interaction. I truly, honestly don’t see what the big deal is in following it unless your own pride or thick-ass head is standing in the way.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I’m about to have a less-than-stellar NYE party because Kai refuses to open the channels of communication to the people I’ve come to consider my family. Once again, I completely see where he’s coming from; his hurt feelings and all. I just think he’s being a stubborn little bitch about he’s choosing to deal with it.
And that ticks me off. Stupidity normally does.
*name changed even though I'm sure he'll know about it since I'm part of this supposed collective consciousness
Written 12/31/10
Written 12/31/10
