I guess now's the point where I stop and reflect on all the "progress" I've made so far. I was going to make a Pros and Cons list but then I realized that some of my "achievements" aren't quite positive or negative...so I'm just going to jumble everything I can think off that's happened in the 200-ish days since I've decided that I can do without sex. And I'll do it the most anal way I know how: through an outline.
- NO SEX
- while the goal of my project is being reached every single day, I wasn't too sure if this was technically a good thing since I continue to have inappropriate and down right ridiculously dirty dreams on a regular basis that could make the cast of Co-ed Confidential blush. For this reason, I'm glad that I have some modicum of self-control otherwise that poor, unsuspecting but insanely cute surgery resident would've been jumped two shifts ago. In short, while I'm glad that I can catch the occasional glimpse of eye-dessert (so good that it's beyond regular eye-candy), my libido isn't so thrilled [that whore].
- Money
- Okay, so I would still have money and a job and car without sex. But the silly girl in me likes to believe that all the good stuff that's happened in the last few months can be directly correlated with my personal vow of extended celibacy. Yes, I realize that I'm asserting that promising to not fuck anything well-endowed has somehow reached God's ears and he has thus rewarded me. I acknowledge that this is sacrilegious on a few levels...but it kinda makes sense, right?
- Solitude
- Now, maybe it's because I'm so used to having someone to talk to on a regular basis, or because all of my friends have vastly different schedules that myself that I realize that I have a healthy amount of time on my hands when I take a few days off. But it's really not just that. I've come to the conclusion that either my friends suck at personal contact, or they've all simultaneously decided to shun eme from their lives. Surprisingly, I'm not too bothered by this. Turns out that, despite the time it takes to get into contact, I'm still connected with the people I know I'd actually miss. The other day I'd realized that I hadn't heard from a BFF in about a month over the phone, internet, or any new-fangled form of communication kids have these days... and I literally shrugged and went, "Whatev." Yup, incorrect grammar and all: I just really didn't care. And I'm okay with that.
- Near Miss
- So this was one incident I wasn't too proud of. I could say I let myself get caught up in a whirlwind of bullshit and hormones...but that statement in itself would be bullshit. Turns out, I get attached easily to guys who can show a girl a good time around the bases without sliding into home. I blame it on my romantic side: believing that somehow lust and love are synonymous in being steps on that ladder towards Happily Ever frickin' After. Turns out, one's a solid stand and the other's just slapped together from squirrel carcass.
- Patience
- Whether it's work with coworkers or parents who speak limited English and otherwise have no fucking clue what they're doing, or at home with parents who make me want to bang my head on the nearest wall because somehow getting a job means that I am now supposed to take on the reins of their financial burden [never mind that they both have jobs still and could have easily managed even if I didn't get employed this year], I'm learning to breathe a little easier. One sigh for eveyr curse word I'd rather utter, one haphazard smile for every slap/punch I'd like to throw. It's a process, a slow, rage-containing process that will likely backfire on one fateful day on some poor, unsuspecting idiot who inadvertedly pisses me off.
