I had a dream a few nights ago, that a wonderful boy could read what I wrote here. It's not possible of course, but the idea had me wondering, "If he could see something as terribly embarrassing and hilariously pathetic as this, what would I want him to know?"
And I came up with this:
Thinking of you brings a smile to my face before I even realize what I'm doing. My cheeks get warm, my eyes crinkle a little and I have this undeniable urge to giggle uncontrollably. Yeah: you're kinda like a continuous mental tickle that I can't shrug off. Hearing from you, by messages or calls is like getting an early Christmas present; my heart jumps a little and, when I catch myself at the mirror, I've got the same look I wear when I'm five and in front of my fake family Christmas tree: pure joy and excitement. I'm not even sure what I'm about to open but I'm ecstatic that it's in my hands, that it belongs to me. So I can't help it, when the simple thought of you makes me feel so overwhelmed with happiness I almost burst, but to find myself wanting to run and hug you when you're within 20 feet of me. You won't know this, but every time we meet, I have to restrain myself. When you pull me into a hug, you'll never see how much I have to hold back to not cry right then and there because I don't know when the next chance we'll get to be together like this again. Just knowing that you thought of me gives me enough reason to sail through the next 24 hours like a dream. You're happiness with legs and shoulders and that same smell I inhale like a good memory every time you pass me.
...sometimes I forget how entirely gushy I can get. Then I remember and kind wish I'd forgotten all over again. Still, it's nice to remember that I can still feel like this.
