I used to find it so poignant when authors used the admittedly clichéd phrase of how “ironic and poetic” it is that you can be lonely while in a sea of people.
…until I realized that it actually wasn’t ironic but that the idea was akin to marveling at how you can be happy or sad while in that same sea of people; being lonely/happy/sad has nothing to do with your surroundings, it’s just a state of mind.
Fact is: you can be lonely without being alone. Amusingly enough, not a lot of people get this. It’s like; being alone automatically equates to being lonely and vice versa. But the two aren’t mutually exclusive.
Being alone is, well, being alone. Innovative thought right? But it’s true; it’s about being by yourself, being removed from personal attachments, from what and who you want.
Being lonely, on the other hand, is actually missing and wishing for those personal attachments. It’s the state that condenses your mind and self to being a part of something or someone else.
“Loneliness is absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself.”
Existing as a lone presence doesn’t have to be lonely. Of course, you can’t force yourself to stop missing your significant other and, by extension, stop yourself from feeling lonely. It’s a constant, day-by-day, step-by-step progress.
And sometimes, you fall off the wagon, sometimes you find yourself going backwards for whatever reason you give yourself to justify indulging your bad habits. Like relapsing with all addictions, it’s just a matter of getting back to where you need to be and working towards where you want to go. I realize that this may be my own justification for getting a taste of what I’ve missed last night, but, like I said; I’m a work in progress. A slow, staggered progress that I’m learning to love more than I hate everyday.
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