Day 95 (Recall) Solace

Written 3/3/11

I had a crazy moment when I got out of work. See, I called my sister and uttered the crazy words,

“Hey, wanna help me spend my money?”

The first time this happened, I was bored and listless. This time, I just wanted to celebrate being able to go through 3 nightshifts in a row without dying and to celebrate the first full month of my employment of working and not doing additional harm to my patients.

Suffice to say: worst mistake ever.

See, in some children, there’s this side of their brain that doesn’t respond to overeating; they just don’t stop. I am beginning to believe that my sister has this particular problem with being unable to stop shopping. See, when I think of “shopping” I think, “Oh, I’ll get like four items, you get a few more and we’ll head home.” But nooooo~ I can’t begin to get into how bored I got after 8 outfits. Two hours into the damn store and she’s still grabbing things off the racks!

Crazy lady.

Afterward, the Baby had to run off to school, so I took the long way home, stopping by my favorite place on the planet.

There’s something insanely calming about the smell of new books. It’s likely a mental dependence from my bookworm days, but walking through that Barnes and Noble always reminds me of that scene in Beauty and the Beast where the Beast opens up all the curtains in his three-story library as a present to Belle.

It’s like having the best present on the planet every time you pass through the double-doors. I pass by the Nook displays and go straight for the escalator because they moved the Mystery/Romance/Manga section to the second floor last year. I take my time riding up, soaking in the smell of coffee and cake from the in-store café mixed and low hum of a place that isn’t quiet like a library but loud enough to be a Starbucks.

I spend the next hour floating in and out of the aisles, drifting between journals that called out to be written on, classics that need footnotes to understand the phrases, and historical fiction that makes you fall in love and believe in something that never happened.

“I found you!!”

“No you didn’t.” Laugh. “You told them to call me over the PA!”

Laugh. “You’re too small! I couldn’t find you!”

 

I picked up a book for the Sister, debated getting a smut novel, flipped through travel books imagining the adventures I can’t wait to start, and walked through the crafts store next door. I smiled more walking through those aisles with tainted memories than I did trying on beautiful clothes that I likely won’t be able to pull off anyway.