Day 177 Wary

I am having a good night: my assignment is beyond easy, my babies are sleeping through most of the evening, and the nurse manager who scares me shitless isn't on tonight.


Awesome sauce? Oh yeah~


So why am I worried anyway? Probably because I'm uber paranoid when I have a good night because I believe that for every good thing that happens, something bad follows it. Not quite like karma, but a general sense of balance, that there is no such thing as perpetual good luck. That said, I'm likely going to have a shitastic night tomorrow...and maybe a good night the night after that. 


In other news, Ricky called to give me an update on his dad's situation and, while I was relieved by his news, I held back from voicing my concern. Nicky and I had talked about the situation a few days before, realizing thay we were on the same page when it came to being more worried than Ricky was about his dad.


"...I just don't know if he knows how serious this is-"
"I hope the doctors are telling him everything without sugarcoating the situation..."


And so on went our conversation. It wasn't about us looking down on Ricky's admittedly limited knowledge of pathology via Wikipedia, but more of a personal understanding that medical professionals tend to give the shorthand version of a problem... and not necessarily adding the stuff that could make it worse. It's understandable and safe for everyone's mental state: no one needs to panic unless it's absolutely necessary. At the same time, you get complacent when you start accepting everything at face value and are ultimately either disappointed or just distraught when things don't go as planned (i.e. the Rapture that didn't happen).


It doesn't make anyone crazy or stupid: just... hopeful. I just hope with caution because really, it's all you can do.