Day 66 Countdown and Stuart

I start work in 8 hours. 

I’m a ball of excitement and anticipation brewing underneath a pesticide-wide spray of anxiety.

But I’m mostly excited.

To think, less than 100 days ago, I was nowhere. Well, I was in my home…which is pretty much in the middle of nowhere so my original statement was accurate.

But I digress…

While I realize that the greatest changes in my life have happened in the last 3 weeks, all revolving around me finally finding employment, I realize that looking through my chronicles of the past months haven’t been too, well, dull. And this brings me a great amount of joy.

As I’ve said, coming from four years of being in and out of dating and being in relationships, I was somewhat concerned that my life would be pretty “blah” and empty without the presence of a man in my life. Truth be told, there were moments of pure pathetic-ness when I found myself staring at my phone, waiting for calls and texts that never came…

And now?

Between starting work, various hobbies, drinking with friends, and going on dates with girlfriends, I’ve managed to find myself smiling in amusement to realize that hours pass without me even remembering it or the men I used to expect to contact me through it.

It’s uplifting, really. To get to a place where I’m not waiting around for…whatever. Where it’s not about being in someone’s life, but my life where people can come in if they please and leave if they don’t care to stay.

I’m learning a lot about letting people and things go, one of my personal goals of this year. Some are easier to release while others seem impossible to let go of. But I’m getting there.

…in Stuart. And yes, I do mean my car, 

which, when I stop to think about it, pretty much works towards my “Be independent” goal for the year as well.

And so ends the first month of 2011.

The inventory? I got a job and a car to go with it, attended religious/cultural/art festivals, partied (moderately), and only dedicated less than a handful of entries (I think) moaning about relationships and men.

I feel like I’ve mentioned quite a few times before how the month of January is meant to mimic its namesake, Janus, in serving as the month-long gateway where we can reflect on the past while looking forward to the future.

Well, January’s over. No looking back now.

…Well, unless I’m on the road and thus need to look in the rearview mirror… then it’d be appropriate and necessary to do so.

But otherwise, yeah. 

Thanks January. Bring it on February.