Day 80 Toxic

Jason sent me a link about “Toxic Women.” (Read it here.)

It basically lists about three different types of women men are likely to encounter when they’re dating around and how each of them can make your life a living hell and subsequently teach you something about your future relationships.

While admitted one-sided, I felt that the article could be applied to the opposite gender as well. Having been on both sides of that “Toxic fence” I know where the article is coming from, and I think a lot of people can understand even if they’ve never been in a relationship like it.

I submit Eminem’s Love the Way You Lie track as support.

If you disregard for like two seconds that Marshall Matters has been the icon for rapping misogyny (largely because white people actually know about him), you can see what the music’s getting at. It’s a lot about the love/hate relationships and how it’s really just a circle of abuse.

Yeah, you heard me, abuse. Some people don’t even realize they’re abusing their partners until you point out that you don’t need bruises or black eyes to hurt another person. And I’m not talking just about feelings; I’m talking about how you can mentally break down another human being by sheer will and rebuke.

So this article was fun for me to read because I’ve recognized aspects of it in my friends and in myself over the years (once again reinforcing that this idea of a year of celibacy is probably the right course of action for me). Jason actually sent this to me because he recognized Rae, his “girlfriend” for four years that swears they only dated for six months and just “spent a lot of time together,” in the article. I laughed a little because I saw what he was talking about when I read it, but I also noticed that it’s not just girls who pull stunts like these.

Guys do too. So I guess it’s not about “Toxic Women” as it is about “Toxic People.”

I mean, not everyone stays toxic forever. But when they are, it’s best not to be together for both your sakes.

I was in a relationship that started off great and happy with so much joy and laughter that you couldn’t believe it ended with horrible, horrible words being thrown at each other including, “If I never see you again it’ll be too soon” and “I hope you burn in the hell you don’t believe in!”

It’s rough when love turns to hate, and there’s really nothing you can do about it except wait for the love to really die, and the hate to finally settle before apathy takes over for good. It’s not the most ideal of situations, but it’s a lot better to not care at all than it is to spend an unnecessary amount of time screaming into phones at someone you really don’t have a relationship with anymore.

It’s healthier. For both of you.