Day 124 Seriously??

When my friend David* broke up with his girlfriend Kit*, it wasn't pretty.

 In fact, it was pretty god-ugly.

Specifics aside, one day I found my phone to be blown up with text messages. See, like the rest of the world, I'm on facebook and I made the idiotic move once upon a time to have the social network send me text messages whenever someone sent me something. What was this pertinent message that ended up sending literally a dozen texts to my phone??

Why, it was a message prompted by David to let everyone know that he didn't want any of us hanging out with Kit. 

I shit you not, the man was telling the people in his life to shun his ex. Through a mass facebook message.

Now, initial disbelief of the superb immaturity this act displayed aside, I understood where David was coming from. It was a rough breakup, feelings were hurt, pride was wounded and it's kinda crappy when you see and hear about your ex having a pretty happy life without you through your own friends. Breaking up doesn't entail just breaking up with your significant other; it's almost like a social divorce with you two dividing who gets what CDs (does anyone even use those anymore?), returning borrowed items, and the final issue, who keeps which friends.

 

Spoiler Alert: No one wins this contest

So I know it's one of those unavoidable consequences when a relationship goes south before it ends. I get it, I just don't really agree with it. Like cannibalism.

In Maori culture, you poked out your tongue before battle to tell
your opponent: "I will eat you after I have defeated you"

So today, when my phone blew up yet again because our very emo friend Jake* is bitchy that his guy friends are still hanging out with his ex, Hannah*, and sent out a message to bitch about it, it was all I could do to not throw my phone against my wall. I mean...SERIOUSLY??

Like I said, I get it, I really really do. When you're in a relationship you're going to get closer to each other's friends; it's bound to happen. And when the breakup settles in, there's a certain level of damage control you have to be tip-toe around while your picking and choosing who gets to stay in your life and who you have to give back to the ex. I didn't speak much to the friends John and I made in college. Neil and I still have mutual friends since we all went to high school together in one small academy. And I still occasionally talk to Michael's friends (although I do wonder if there was an "Ex-memo" about me sent out too).

But to tell me (along with two dozen other people) to stay away from his ex? C'mon! I don't even know Jake's middle name and the mode of communication just screams "I WISH FOR ATTENTION AND LOVE!! GIMMEEE!!"

Ken reasoned that Jake probably should've just selected his best friends to communicate in a more private manner. But then that would've made sense and demonstrated maturity. And apparently, that's just too much to ask for...

*Friends who broke up and whom only half I'm "allowed" to communicate with