But I won't. Why? Well...I could give you the reasons the Baby Sister gave me to stay away:
1) You're an asshole [we both know this is very true]
2) I have more self-respect than to come to you [I'm not too sure on this point]
3) I don't hear from you unless you want to get something your girlfriend isn't giving out for free
...But they're still not enough to keep me from itching to snatch up my keys and go where you are. Why am I holding back then, when I clearly have the self-control and dignity of a 3-year-old on a sugar rush.
I don't like this feeling; that I'm a heartbeat away from jumping into my car and driving as fast as I can to make a really awful decision that'd bring a few moments of insurmountable bliss that I'd ultimately regret. I hate that I think about you every single day, that I turn every corner hoping/dreading that you'll be there when I do. I hate hearing the sound of a driving car outside my window and knowing that it's not you when the motor fades away. I hate realizing that I'm staring at my phone hoping for a blinking light from a number I don't have the heart to save because that means there's a name and a number that I don't have the right to call anyway.
I want you to tell me that I have nothing to hope for; that whatever was there is deader than my dreams of being a superhero. I want you to take back the "I love you" and tell me you lied and you just felt sorry for me when you said them. I want you to be annoyed, angry even maybe even hate me a little it if it could make me better where it counts. I want the words to come from your mouth rather than down the grapevine, let alone from your new girlfriend because I know they'll carry a bigger weight, they'll cut a little deeper to the core of things - hit me where it hurts, where it started. I just want it to stop, the hoping, the dreaming and I want to skip the healing process to the point where I forget that there's even a scar there.
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