Day 241 Guilt

I used to believe that if you do something bad, you're going to feel bad.

Flashforward a few years and a lot of hard lessons later, I've gained a bit of an understanding about "good people doing bad things for the right reasons." What it all comes down to is personal perspective: do you feel that what you did was wrong? If you don't, let's face it: you're not going to care about the repercussions or consequences because, when you made the decision to do "the wrong" thing, the fallout was worth it to you. You're not going to feel guilty or shameful because you understood that you didn't do anything wrong. That's not to say that everyone is going to share your belief but, to you, it doesn't really matter because it's how you feel that decides how well you sleep at night.

Bottom line: you won't feel bad if you think/know that you didn't do anything wrong.

...but there's always that hovering question over your shoulder that whispers every time you adamantly declare that you're innocent, "Do you really think that?" I feel that I am innocent, that I haven't done a damn thing wrong and I don't like feeling that I'm somehow less of a good person just because someone decides to make me feel like scum. I am a nice fucking person who does her damn best to avoid attacking or aggravating another human being unless I'm the one being attacked. I don't hurt people for my personal amusement and I'm not selfish enough to believe that I can control my friends or egomaniacal enough to believe that what I think and feel are superior to the world's needs and that everyone else needs to bow fucking down to what I want.

I'm not a brat throwing a tantrum because someone took my fucking toys. And I'm really, really over being patronized like I am one.