Day 265 (Recall) Talk to Me

An hour, rainy drive, and increased spending limit later than I'd anticipated, I walk into the fast-food chain and immediately spot Becky and Jerry off to the side. It's not hard; there's only one other party in the place, a trio of girls picking at small bits of food who look like they'd rather be eating something in a burrito bowl. 

Jerry's going back to college this weekend and I'm reminded of how I get to stay in one city this year instead of having to make e six-hour trek to my university. Jerry's not looking forward to the year... Let alone the next 3 or so years after that just to get through pharm school. He's going to get in, I know that much. Or at least, I hope he does (either that or can consider himself a standout of the Asian stereotype of overachieving medical professionals). 


Eventually Becky and I say bye to Jerry. We stock up on wine, nearly forget the opener, and drive off. The weather is gross and the traffic is dismal and I can't help but think that I've made a terrible decision to do this now. But I plow through because dammit! I'm going to have a great time even if it kills me or my liver. 

This is where I see myself in ten years...

The place is a little cheesy but the staff are really "friendly" according to Becky. I'm not entirely sure if she realizes she's being flirted with but it's okay because no one's being a douche or a bitch about my reservations. 


Our place has a public-style toilet that needs to be flushed with your foot, the closet looks like mold is growing around the edges, and we suspect that there's a crime scene based on a very suspicious stain on the carpet that was haphazardly covered by the edge of the sofa bed. Overall, it's pretty fucking hilarious and we take the opportunity to nap. 


At some point, we wake up and pop open one of the bottles. And we talk. Not gossip, because that's what you have with a gaggle of schoolgirls. But we talk. See, it's different speaking with someone on a one-on-one basis. Within group conversations, you're spinning off whatever topic thread someone put out on the table and building repertoire with multiple people and multiple ideas. One-on-one talks, though, are more personal, since your immediate response to statement or story isn't being filtered by what someone else in the group said. 


 We drink and talk, largely about relationships: romantic and otherwise. We talk about how trusting another person for your happiness and emotional and mental well-being is both the crux of relationships while being the Achilles heel you won't ever be able to cover up. We talk about how long it takes to build a foundation, leftover by the ruins someone else left behind. We talk about friendships, when the "ride or die" buddy just leaves you high and dry. We talk about the breaking points, like when does a lie hurt more (at the moment it happens or when it comes out six weeks later) and when you've got to stop loving/hating and just live and move the fuck on. 

It's enlightening, to be reminded that the friends I've made and kept were founded on more than an elevated alcohol limit... And it's reaffirming, to understand why some didn't last. I sip my wine and eventually tuck myself in to the sound of a thunderstorm. 


Written 8.22.11